rocking chair

We got a call last week that the rocking chair we ordered from Babies R Us in early July was in, ouch! Mike went and picked it up tonight and we are going to put it up in the baby's room. I am supposed to be rocking a baby in that chair and not sitting in it with empty arms. I know God will bless me someday with a baby to rock in this chair, but right now it just seems to be a cruel piece of furniture that is mocking me. Is that a bit dramatic?
p.s. Thanks to the Rozeboom/Criddle clan for letting me crash your party this weekend. It was great to see all of you and to get to love on Lulu for a few minutes!

Thoughts and my new favorite blog

I have been struggling with knowing what to put on this blog lately because I feel like it should be funny and witty anecdotes about my life, but the truth is William still occupies my thoughts most of the time. It is a very weird phenomenon because my life from the outside looks much like it did before I was pregnant, in fact if you didn't know me before you probably wouldn't even know I was pregnant. But on the inside I am profoundly changed and it is very hard to reconcile these two things. I don't want to stop thinking about him and I don't want people to stop asking because then he will be gone, but at the same time it is hard to bring up your recently still born baby in daily conversations.

So, although this is not a funny and witty anecdote, it is where I am now and that's the best I can do.

On another note...
I was blog-surfing last night and found a real gem. It is written by a woman that has been through a very similar situation as I have with losing a baby boy at 30 weeks. I spent several hours reading it from the beginning and it was a very surreal experience. She describes so many thoughts, feelings and experiences that I have had. I can't even tell you how comforting it was to read her words because she has the guts to say so many of the things I haven't been able write. She is now pregnant with her third child (first was an early miscarriage, second was Henry born still earlier this year). She is understandably very nervous and would probably appreciate any prayers sent her way.
Check it out if you have time.
http://rooneyslittlemusings.blogspot.com/

A much needed vacation

Mike and I got home last night after a lovely trip to Estes Park, CO. It was a great getaway for us to spend time together as we passed the due date of the baby. We got to see my parents who had been there the previous week and stayed over two days to hang out with us. We also hiked, read, played lots of Skipbo, fished and visited the New Belgium Brewery in Fort Collins. It was a heavenly vacation. Attached are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

My Mom and Dad, love them!

I'm not the best photographer, but the changing colors of the trees were beautiful.

A place called the Alluvial Fan in Rocky Mountain National Park, very cool.

They make yummy beer!

After a 6+ mile hike to the Bridal Veil Falls. We aren't in the best of shape so there was a lot of huffing and puffing, but we made it and the waterfall was totally worth it.

p.s. I was amazed how much I missed reading all of your blogs during the 8 days I was gone. Without a computer I had no way of knowing how Katie's move was going, if Blogyn had sold the beloved jeep, and whether or not Lulu had discovered the cure for cancer (she's very smart you know). I also had several blogworthy moments where I thought, "This would make the perfect entry." One of these moments was when I saw two roadside stands in Colorado. One said "Donkeys for Sale" and right next to that was "Knives, Swords and other Weapons sold here." I thought 'Great, one stop shopping for souvenirs for the nieces and nephew.' I was hesitant about joining the bloggin world at first, but I have really come to value this little community. It's good to be back!